Courtesy: Elizabeth Wickham
My 10-year-old daughter is fast at freestyle and likes to swim it at meets. The coach keeps entering her in different events even though she doesn’t like to swim them. I want her to enjoy swimming but she dreads the butterfly and especially breaststroke. She gets stressed out before those events. Do you have any advice on if we should talk to the coach about this and ask him to not enter her in those events?
—Freestyle Mom
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Dear Freestyle Mom,
We went through the same thing with our daughter who was better at freestyle than her other strokes at age 10. When she reached a plateau in freestyle later on, she saw improvement in her off strokes which helped keep her excited about swimming. At age 10, there is so much to learn and improve on.
Most coaches will want 10-year-old swimmers learning and developing all their strokes. You never know what her best stroke will be years from now. If she focuses on freestyle at age 10, she’s limiting her swimming future.
I know it’s too early for your swimmer to think about college, but keep in mind that college coaches like swimmers who can swim several events. A distance freestyler who can swim the 200 fly and 400 IM will find more interest from college coaches than a freestyle specialist.
It sounds like your daughter is competitive and may not like getting beat in her off strokes. As she grows and improves her technique, she’ll get stronger and faster. She may find she loves breaststroke after all. After she swims an off event, compliment her for effort and don’t focus on her results.
Maybe her coach can explain why he wants her to swim all four strokes and improve her technique. It’s a conversation better coming from the coach than parents.
What would you tell Freestyle Mom about her daughter being entered in races she’s not happy to swim?
If you have a question for “Ask Swim Mom,” please email Elizabeth Wickham at [email protected].
Elizabeth Wickham volunteered for 14 years on her kids’ club team as board member, fundraiser, newsletter editor and “Mrs. meet manager.” She’s a writer with a bachelor of arts degree in editorial journalism from the University of Washington with a long career in public relations, marketing and advertising. Her stories have appeared in newspapers and magazines including the Los Angeles Times, Orange County Parenting and Ladybug. You can read more parenting tips on her blog
I always ask these parents what they wanted to be as an adult when they were 10. After a minute of confusion, most of them get the connection that what their likes and interests and strengths at 10 were have little to no bearing on what they ended up doing as an adult. The small percentage that did become what they wanted to be when they were ten are the rare birds and frequently they’re also the ones who can figure this one out on their own.
Let me ask this: if at age 10 or in 4th grade your child is really good at history or at math do you make them only take math and history classes when they hit middle school? No. Do you make them prepare for a career as an actuary or historian at the age of 10? No. So why peg them into an even or stroke if its their “best” at that time?? Give them options, make them train other strokes… shouldnt all swimmers really be trained as IMers until they turn 13-17 anyways? even 18 or 19 (aka before college). If the kid doesn’t like it, that’s one thing, but they should all be training for all strokes at… Read more »
Age groupers should only practice and swim butterfly until they turn 13. Nice article, Elizabeth. You should have added that practicing all strokes helps in preventing injuries.
If your child is that young just let them do whatever events they choose. Who cares. We should encourage them to try new/different events often, but at the end of the day the primary objective should be keeping them happy and engaged with the sport and their improvement.
At that age the work being done at practice is much more important than having a properly planned out program/schedule of events.
Provided the coach isn’t training the swimmer as if they are an open swimmer who will only ever swim certain events it won’t matter what events they actually end up competing in, they can always add an event/stroke they demonstrate an aptitude for at a later point, while still being… Read more »
If the question was rephrased as should I have my child swim all events and all age appropriate distances I say NO is a good answer in many cases. Best way to destroy a child’s natural sprinting ability is to continue to have them swim a variety of events. Before you criticize – think about a broad selection of elite sprinter senior swimmers and ask how many of them actually did a broad variety of events as a kid. Answer will be much much lower than same question asked for senior distance swimmers. Young Sprinters are better off skipping practices and playing another sport on these days, IMO.
Lol, “Young sprinters”
Respectfully, I disagree. Burnout is all too real. Let kids enjoy swimming so they keep coming back to it. If that means they swim only certain events at meets, fine . . . for now. A good coach will encourage a swimmer to try different events. Again, the question had to do with what events they race at meets, NOT what they do in practice (that’s a whole other question). Mindlessly putting an athlete, regardless of age, into events they dislike over and over and over again is a surefire way for them to resent the sport. As long as they stay with the sport, there will always be the opportunity to try different races, but they second they hate… Read more »
As a young swimmer, I always thought butterfly was going to be my stroke. I had some pretty good times in the stroke and I enjoyed it, though over a few years I’ve evolved into a somewhat IMer because my coach always told me that I need to have a larger horizon of other strokes. Your attitude is one of the most important things and your daughter should take a new perspective of other strokes. Once you achieve that, the strokes will become more fun to swim because you are letting your self enjoy them.
Might have got a little sidetracked but my advise is that age attitude is key, so don’t let your daughter be limited by what… Read more »
Finally started getting some stroke work on my kid’s weak strokes and, lo’ and behold, she is swimming those week strokes at almost the same level as her strong strokes. She’s now a teenager and with the recent developments, her coach says we still can’t predict what her best stroke will be. I’m thankful that he coaches for an Aerobic IM background. Hindsight, I would have been one of those parents who paid for private lessons at an earlier age.
When I start swimming at age 9, I thought I was going to be a breaststroker. However, by the time I got to college, my body and flexibility had significantly changed. Good thing that I was forced to try different strokes and realized that I was really a backstroker. I would have never made a high school varsity team, let alone a D1 program, as a breaststroker. As a coach of middle school aged kids, I make sure my swimmers get exposure to as many strokes and distances as possible depending on their skill level. They learn a lot about feel of the water, body position, and more by mixing up the strokes, complementing their best events. Additionally, if they… Read more »