Courtesy of Elizabeth Wickham
Legendary swimmer Cynthia “Sippy” Woodhead broke her first world record at age 14 and won a silver medal in the 1984 Olympics six years later. She now enjoys life on deck as a swim parent. Her 13-14 NAG records in the 200m and 400m free (1:58.53 and 4:07.15) from 1978 are the longest-standing records on the books for girls. Her 500y (4:49.51) 11-12 age group record held for 40 years and was broken earlier this year. Sippy’s 11-12 and 13-14 age group times are as fast or faster than many women’s times in college today. As a swim mom, I have fond memories from meets at the Sippy Woodhead Pool in Riverside, California.
I spoke with Sippy and discovered she has a great perspective as a swim parent. Here are some tips she shared:
“Leave your kids alone. Let swimming be their thing as much as possible. You’re there to provide equipment and food and get out of the way. Swimmers put so much pressure on themselves,” Sippy said. “It’s so much easier to be a parent than the swimmer. I don’t mind going to meets, there’s no pressure on me. I get to sit in my Tommy Bahama chair all day.”
When Sippy’s kids were younger and their practices were an hour long, she could be found on deck watching practice. “I was happy to sit at the pool and listen to the water. I love the sound of kids swimming, the splashing,” she said.
“I don’t ask them how they feel. I don’t ask them about their races. I don’t ask them about practice. I don’t ask about who they beat. I don’t ask. If they want to talk about it, they’ll talk about it. I don’t debrief them. I think they’re pretty happy. I want them to be able to forget about swimming while they are home.”
She also explained that she doesn’t leave heat sheets around the kitchen or remind her kids that a meet is coming up. “I never have given them time standards for meets. They know them, but I’m not holding them up in front of them. They know how to look those things up. They know more than I think they do because they’ve done it on their own.”
Sippy talked about changes in the sport since she was a young swimmer. “We did a lot more yardage. I swam with Chuck Riggs. We did a whole lot of swimming and not much race pace,” she said. “Also, I don’t remember the parents being so wrapped around their kids. I honestly don’t remember seeing my parents at a meet. I know they were there, but I don’t think I ever communicated with them. It was more like a play date. I don’t see that anymore. I see a lot more hovering and parents carrying towels, getting kids their heats and lanes. It didn’t use to be that way.
“I treat my kids the way I was treated. Swimming was my thing and I want this to be their thing. I don’t want them to think I’m taking credit. I don’t want to hover and I don’t want them to think that their swimming is because of me or something I did.”
Sippy said she does a few things for her kids at meets. “I give them their food bags and put $20 in them and leave them with the team. I check on their water bottles and refill them because I want to make sure they’re drinking, but they don’t notice that I was even there. If I run into them on the deck I’ll say something like, ‘good job,’ but I don’t hunt them down. I want them to be free. The most fun I had at meets was hanging out with my friends. You felt like your parents weren’t there. It was fun to be at meets, it wasn’t stressful. I want them to have that same experience.”
How do you keep the experience fun and not stressful at meets?
Elizabeth Wickham volunteered for 14 years on her kids’ club team
as board member, fundraiser, newsletter editor and “Mrs. meet manager.” She’s a writer with a bachelor of arts degree in editorial journalism from the University of Washington with a long career in public relations, marketing and advertising. Her stories have appeared in newspapers and magazines including the Los Angeles Times, Orange County Parenting and Ladybug. You can read more parenting tips on her blog.
I felt and acted pretty much the same way as a swimmer and swim parent. Good job, Skippy!
Swim coaches that have kids in swimming should read this, and when you comment back, throw in the positives about your kiddo that you give them and not just from time to time. Sit back and help them grow as young people first and be there for them always. Good to read the parents comments about laying low and being a support no matter what. Always care, just know what you are caring about
Sippy was one of the best swimmers to watch because of her grit. Check out some of the video of her on YouTube. There is a lot to be said for parents only saying to their kids; have fun, do your best, make some new friends.
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!! This is what I do and I feel like the odd bird out by doing it. But this is who I am at the core of my Swim Parenting – yes, it can be a verb. I leave everything between Coach and Athlete. Always have…even when my children started swimming in summer league at age 4. Our trips to and from the pool provide that wonderful quiet space where we can tell funny stories, laugh, talk about anything, but swim and IF we talk swim my swimmers bring it up first. And then it’s usually about hilarious stories they tell me regarding all the goofy time-waster activities with friends on deck at loooong swim meets. As if this sport… Read more »
OMG!!! They talk about which girls are starting to develop on our team! So perverted, but they think that it’s ok because they’re moms.
What a great champion Sippy was. She was world class from 100-1500 meters. I often wondered how anyone’s muscle fiber type can pull that off. Saw her swim at Pan Am Games in 79. A thrill. She sounds like the ideal swimming parent now. Cool lady!
What swimming needs is more parents like Sippy. The hovering parent syndrome is such a horrible horrible thing for our youths, but I only see it getting worse before getting better! And this isn’t just in swimming, it’s in all walks of life.
I have seen many good coaches walk away from the sport over the past few years because of overbearing parents. If more parents take Sippy’s lead, maybe we can reverse this trend.
Reading this was a breath of fresh air. Thanks Sippy. I really hope your approach becomes the ‘normal’. Your children are lucky to have a SwimMom who knows what’s best.
My son, age 12, puts a lot of pressure on himself, especially trying to keep up with his older sister. I told him the other night, I don’t care if you come in last place at the wall as long as you have fun and try your best. He gave me the biggest smile. I rarely have a heat sheet, and never write down times, splits, etc. That’s too much pressure for me…ha! Thanks for this great article.