I have experience at making mistakes as a swim parent. Fifteen years of it. I put together this list of things parents do that drive our kids and coaches crazy—with help from my daughter. Mind you, I have not done everything on the list, but I have seen all of these examples.
Most swim parents are the best people you’ll meet. They are encouraging, excited, willing to help and fun. These traits make long hours around the pool enjoyable and worthwhile.
Here are 10 behaviors guaranteed to drive swimmers and coaches crazy:
One
Insist your child be moved up into a higher group when the coach doesn’t think they’re the right age or developmentally ready.
Two
Coach your swimmer before and after their swims and at practice.
Three
Pace up and down the deck as your child races, yelling the entire time.
Four
Talk badly about other swimmers, families and coaches—in front of your child.
Five
Never volunteer and be the parent who has to be chased down to fill a timing chair. Don’t you love the excuse—“I have kids to watch, I can’t time.”
Six
Hover under the coaches’ tents during meets, blocking coaches views and getting in the way—which is an outdoor pool problem.
Seven
Film every race and practice and insist your child sits with you to review them.
Eight
Carry a clipboard and stop watch. Write down all your child’s times—and the times of their teammates and competitors.
Nine
Argue with the refs when your child DQs.
Ten
Never be happy and always complain about everything. All the time.
What other things do swim parents do that drive our kids and coaches crazy?
Elizabeth Wickham volunteered for 14 years on her kids’ club team as board member, fundraiser, newsletter editor and “Mrs. meet manager.” She’s a writer with a bachelor of arts degree in editorial journalism from the University of Washington with a long career in public relations, marketing and advertising. Her stories have appeared in newspapers and magazines including the Los Angeles Times, Orange County Parenting and Ladybug. You can read more parenting tips on her blog.
Some pretty ignorant replies. Drive and love for the sport should come from the swimmer. Parents-your job is to love and support your child though the ups and downs the sport brings-that life brings.
When is USA swimming going to wake up and stop requiring so many times at meets. Just use the touch pads and film. Track doesn’t have any individual lane timers. Why does swimming?
#2 needs some clarification. Does talking/discussing a race equate to coaching? I am a former swim parent. I used to discuss races with my daughter all the time. Not every race, but we would talk. I can remember a 100 FR that didn’t go well. We were walking out as it was the last race and I said you missed that first turn didn’t you. My daughter said yeah I barely touched the wall and got no push. Is the coaching or not? Or when your kiddo is about to go down for a race and you say remember to dolphin kick off the walls. Is that coaching or just reminding a child of something important.
I do wish… Read more »
Some parents just simply want to attend practices and be present. Don’t think this is wrong and no explanation should be given to this reasoning. Also, USA Swimming once had an article writtten about preventing sexual abuse and it stated that parental involvement and consistent presence may eliminate or reduce sexual abuses from coaches and other swimmers.
I might have missed it, but I don’t think that any of the 10 points said “don’t attend practice.” You’re absolutely right, attending practice is a good thing, a safe thing, both for your child, and to provide ‘herd safety’ for the group as a whole, make sure any predators are always being watched.
There’s a difference between attending practice and doing the things listed above.
Omg this article is spot on. Hilarious 🙂 #cryingwithlaughter
I LOVE the term “Coaching Cartel.” The reality is that most coaches really have no clue what they are doing, and they have an ego that hinders their ability to learn, and they think that they job title “Coach” makes them an expert. It is pathetic on some level. I can’t stress enough how mediocre (or worse) most coaches are, by my observation. I am a swimming coach, and I do know what I am talking about. I am also a swimming parent.
I don’t directly coach my kids, as I coach a different level and different team, but I do work with them quite a bit. They have an excellent coach, with no ego, who gladly collaborates with me… Read more »
Our swimmer is 12 and I agree that parents should be involved but most do not have the knowledge to help coach. There are things that I believe our swimmer should change, but I may be wrong, or perhaps, the coaches let it slide as that is something to work on later ie. not really that important at this stage.
More importantly, make sure your kid is at the right club. Over 18 months we move clubs 3 times. One was good, and 2 were not the right fit. Our current club is excellent. If you are at a great club, your role as “coach” will not likely help much.
As well, most importantly, make sure your swimmer is… Read more »
Great take Cynic…agree 100%
#0 is really: scream so loud to cheer your kid at a race that no one could hear anything even fighter jets flying 200 feet above your head and we all leave with damaged ears.
I simply cannot understand parents who feel the need to jump up and down like you have been electricuted to almost fall into the pool and cheer their kids like it’s the Olympics final and you’d all be deported to North Korea if you don’t scream your lungs out. Your kid is not the only kid in the water, we all want to see and hear THE RACE and not your performance. I have videos of my son’s finals where all I can hear… Read more »
Really? Wow, it makes me smile when I see parents get so excited for their kids. Let’s be real, swim meets are boring and long. Most of the time your kid isn’t in the water and you are sitting in an uncomfortable seat waiting for your child to swim. I am a loud person and while I don’t cheer for every race I sometimes get excited and loud. I recently was at a meet when a Dad was cheering his daughter on during the 1650. My guess is by the end he probably burned as many calories as his swimmer. It was sweet! My son says he can hear me when I cheer even when his head in under the… Read more »
Good list, but forgot one. #11 – Never show up for meets (or, for that matter, show any interest in the kid’s swimming).
I do show up to every meet, but my kid really does not want me on the pool deck volunteering. That is their “temple” and my parental presence somehow pollutes that, lol! We have a good relationship, just every swimmer is different.