10 Lies Swimmers Tell Their Coaches When They Cheat

Guest commentary by Chase Osorio and Jenna Burns, courtesy of SimplySwimCaps.com.

We all know these people; just don’t try to borrow our examples.

1. I need to get goggles for my friend

We all know that one person who will get out of practice to go get their “friend” a pair of goggles from their bag. Normally the meanest person on the team will step up to the plate to help out if it involves skipping those dreaded 400 IM’s.

2. I have to go to the bathroom

Probably one of the most common excuses amongst slackers. This excuse is commonly misused, instead of actually going to the bathroom, most people just want to check their phone or grab a snack in the locker room (guilty) instead of getting to the blocks on time for a test set.

3. My goggles filled up with water

A common term used amongst swimmers when the set just gets too rough. We all know that your goggles will fill up with water at least once a practice, but that doesn’t mean you need to skip a 50 while talking to your friends at the wall. Come on guys, we really don’t believe you are talking about your goggles the entire time there.

4. I feel lightheaded

This part is where the lies get a bit creative, and the Oscar goes to…the slackers! This excuse is used by the experienced only, beginners not welcome. This one requires a certain amount of skill, the facial expressions, the position, the way you close your eyes to make believe that the world is spinning, we’ve seen them all. Dizziness can happen, although not as frequently as you think.

5. I need to get my inhaler

Come on, really? I don’t think that many people have asthma on the team. A lot of people do have this common illness, but most times it’s just someone who diagnoses him or herself when they feel out of breath.

6. I feel sick

This one can be overused. Most people can fake this one, similar to number 4, with facial expressions or body movement, but sometimes it can be real. As much as this can be faked, it can be real as well, so watch out!

7. I didn’t know what the interval was

Really? The coach just explained it, you just weren’t listening. If you don’t hear the coach, just ask someone else in the pool, someone else is bound to have heard.

8. I need to stretch

Hamstrings, arms, etc., etc., etc., you name it; we’ve seen it. Not only do people have to “stretch” the phony stretches that come with it are the real indicator that this one isn’t real.

9. Cramps

Oh cramps, where do we begin? Similar to number 6, this one can be real, but can also be faked just as easily. The bending over and the stressed faces are real indicators that this isn’t real, but don’t pound on them if the cramps are actually there, just offer to get an Advil or some water.

10. I have to ask a question

Last but not least, the last excuse on this list, also one of the lies that you come up with when you get caught red handed. This one is mostly used when you are out of reasons and this one is the only one left.

From Chase Osorio and Jenna Burns, the authors: 

We’re 14 years old and go to the O’Neal School. We’re best friends and have been swimming together since we were in 2nd grade where we swam lessons during school. We belong to the Sandhills Sandsharks in Southern Pines, North Carolina. Chase has been swimming competitively since he was 10. He is a freestyle sprinter with hopes of swimming for the St. Lucia national team, where his Mom is from. Jenna has been swimming competitively since she was six. She is a distance swimmer with open water swimming goals in sight. We both are first time writers and can’t wait to share our experiences you.

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Swimming listicle is courtesy of Simply Swim Caps, a SwimSwam partner.